Boundaries

Boundaries in relationships define limits, in regards to social and personal behaviour and roles. More often than not these are not discussed in any depth, because we assume our partners have the same boundaries as we do. As a relationship matures, non-verbal and verbal boundaries are put into place; which occurs as part of the growth of the relationship.

Most upsets and arguments arise within a relationship when our own personal boundaries are breached, when our expectations have been dashed or when we have breached the other persons boundaries or failed to meet their expectations.

Our expectations and boundaries are based on many personal factors. These personal factors are mostly based on our own upbringing, the way we treat people and the way we expect others to treat us, self beliefs, self worth and self respect.

When someone close to us fails to meet our expectations we feel offended. We take it personally. We feel as though that person doesn't care about us, or doesn't understand us, value us or even that they don't like us any more.

When someone else upsets us, it is because they have overstepped our own personal boundaries. They have taken us out of our comfort zone into an area where we feel we are losing or have lost control of our position in their lives. We have tendencies to feel disappointed with them, in them and to feel hurt, mistrustful and misunderstood.

In summary, when someone (knowingly or unknowingly) oversteps our boundaries we take it very personally.

You may read the full article at http://www.inner-truth.net/relationships/boundaries.html